To be honest, my first reason for applying to the DPS program was quite practical. My health condition wasn’t good, and I wanted to stay in my home country to recover. Besides, I thought some internship experience would help me apply for graduate school.
Yet while filling the DPS application form, I realized what I truly needed this one- year time itself. I am going to enter my final undergraduate year. Although I had done well in all my previous units that mostly earning A’s, I didn’t feel ready to graduate. I was confused about my career direction, and more importantly, I didn’t really understand myself:
Why do I want to go to graduate school? What do I want to do in the future? Where do I want to live? Why am I even alive?
……
I had no answers.
I feared time was running too fast, and I wasn’t ready for the future. So in a way, I used DPS as a way to delay facing it, a “gap year” to hide in, rather than a brave challenge.
But once the year truly began, everything turned out completely different from what I had imagined — far more rewarding than I imagined. Besides the professional experience I gained, I also found the answers I’d been searching for and many new chances.
The first project I joined in my placement was an exhibition about ancient Chinese cosmology, which is a subject I’ve long been fascinated by. It deeply inspired me and reawakened my desire for research. I realized how wondrous the universe is, and I want to continuously explore it through art — not just within Chinese philosophy, but across different civilizations in the world. This confirmed my decision to pursue graduate study, where can help me to continue this exploration on a broader platform.
At the same time, as I met more art professionals, I started to think seriously about possible career paths after graduate school. Perhaps as an independent artist, a curator, an art investment consultant, or even starting my own brand. I began taking small steps, like accepting online commissions for handmade crafts. It was stressful, as I always worried about clients wouldn’t be satisfied, and I was struggling to balance the time between work and creation. but I know that every career begins with uncertainty, and persistence brings growth.
Now I feel my life became positive and energetic. During my three-hour commute, I’ve also developed a new habit that listening to audiobooks. Lately, I’ve been listening to Tao Te Ching （a foundational texts of ancient Chinese philosophy）written by Laozi as my research. Laozi teaches that everything is relative, and he named the origin and return of all things “Tao.”
In Chapter 15, he writes:
“混而能静，澄之徐清；安以动之，徐生。”
“When turbid, remain still, and the water will slowly clear;
When at peace, let movement arise, and life will slowly unfold.”
I was deeply moved by this fantastic idea. I realized the mind must stay calm to be clear; when the heart becomes clear, action flows naturally, bringing genuine vitality.
Now I feel like a clear stream — peaceful, with clear goals and no longer anxious; yet driven by purpose, I keep moving, learning, and exploring, each day filled with quiet energy. Though the DPS year may seem still on the surface, it carries immense power inside, bringing vitality and possibilities.
I’ve finally understood that major study, career, and life are not separated, but as the “stillness and motion” mentioned by Laozi—they complete and transform each other.
Through exploring art and the world, I’m also discovering and refining myself, which is the true purpose of living.
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