Sophie wang

Category: thoughts/ inspiration

  • Deep time walk reflection

    Deep Time Walk

    Yesterday, I joined a Deep Time Walk organized by the DPS team and spent a perfect day with a group of loooovely people. A Deep Time Walk is a 4.6km guided journey that brings Earth’s 4.6 billion-year history to life. Each meter you walk represents one million years of time. It is more than just a walk; it is an experiment for the head, heart, and body, allowing us to find our place within the wider living world through storytelling and reflection.

    From Textbooks to Footsteps

    I studied Environmental Science and Biology in high school, but walking the timeline felt completely different from reading a book. Every step represented hundreds of thousands, even millions of years. By lunchtime, with half the day already gone, we had only just reached the stage of the “Cambrian Explosion.” I felt a sense of urgency, knowing that dinosaurs, mammals, humans, agriculture, and the Industrial Revolution were still ahead, with only a few hours of walking left.

    However, I had forgotten that the progression of time is not linear. Shortly after the rise of mammals, our tutor stopped and used her arm as a scale. In her less-than-one-meter arm span, humans appeared in the middle of her forearm, agriculture at her index finger, and the Industrial Revolution sat right at the very tip of her fingernail.

    Rejecting Anthropocentrism

    I was deeply shaken. Numbers in a textbook can never make you feel how tiny human history is compared to the Earth’s. We walked 4.6 kilometers, yet the entire history of human civilization covered less than 30 centimeters. This scale instantly shatters “anthropocentrism.” Humans are insignificant in the grand scale of ecology and history. What right do we have to think of ourselves as the masters of the Earth? This perspective gave me a more reverent understanding of “sustainability”: environmental protection is not about “saving the Earth”—it is about saving the fragile space that allows humans to exist.

    The Barrier Between Idealism and Reality

    We also discussed a very practical topic: the only reason we can sit here and discuss ecology and the future is that we are receiving a higher education. In the real world, so many people are struggling just to meet their basic needs for food and shelter. When a person cannot even guarantee their basic survival and freedom, they have no energy left to care about the environment.

    This reminds me of a realization from my recent internship: there is a massive barrier between idealism and reality. Without financial support from parents, it is incredibly difficult to make a living by pursuing the ideals or causes we believe in. Concepts like sustainability and environmentalism are often a form of discourse that can only be held by those with a certain economic foundation.

    An Unpredictable Future

    Finally, I had a deep realization: the future is completely unpredictable. The bacterial ancestors at the dawn of the Earth could never have imagined that humans would appear billions of years later. Since the future has no fixed direction, all we can do is enjoy and cherish every present moment. We shouldn’t be overly anxious about a future that hasn’t happened yet, because while everything is unpredictable, it is also full of opportunity.

  • A Comparison of Sustainability in Two placement

    During my internship at UCCA, I noticed many unsustainable practices in how large art institutions operate. First, there is material waste. A project last September used a large amount of cowhide; I do not agree with this creative philosophy. Second is the waste of human labor. I once finished a set of over 40 visual materials, but because one word failed a review for “sensitivity,” I was ordered to redo everything. A single order from a superior wasted money, energy, and labor. In large systems, waste is the norm for the sake of process and reviews.

    To find a team that shared my values, I joined Renée Materials in London. They successfully put high-quality materials back into use, reducing waste in the industry. However, I found a new problem: the mission is sustainable, but the business is not. Because the supply is unstable and hard to scale, there is a lot of repetitive labor like sorting, folding, and organizing. This work mostly relies on “unpaid labor”—interns like me. If a business must rely on free labor to function, it is not truly sustainable in its internal logic.

    I used to think that repetitive, mechanical tasks were a waste of life and that only “creation” had meaning. But I have realized that every industry needs basic labor to function. The irony is that in a huge system, this labor is wasted for no reason; in a small, idealistic team, overwork and unpaid labor are justified by “passion.”

    Many young people accept low or no pay just to get a “ticket” into the industry. This structure effectively excludes anyone without financial support. I have to ask myself: after graduation, without my parents’ help, how will I support myself? How can I achieve “personal sustainability” for my own life?

    Even though schools emphasize social responsibility, the jobs that actually pay well and provide visa sponsorship are rarely found in these value-driven organizations. We know what is “right,” but we are often forced to do “wrong” just to survive.

  • Leaving the Comfort Zone

    Goodbye，UCCA 

    Time flies. I have been interning at UCCA for six months now. This experience gave me so much: I taught myself 2D design, learned how the art industry and curation work, and developed strong research and critical thinking skills.

    Although I loved my team and our projects, I realized I needed to leave my comfort zone. Growth is a series of goodbyes. I turned down the offer to renew my contract and decided to return to London for a new challenge.

    finding job in London

    Finding a job in London is not easy. During the Chinese New Year in February, I spent most of my holiday updating my CV and portfolio.

    I first targeted famous galleries that fit my Fine Art background. I wrote tailored cover letters for each one. I also applied for research assistant roles at universities. Every day, I checked sites like Art Temps and Creative Opportunities. In just two weeks, I sent out over 40 applications, but I received very few replies. 

    The competition is intense. I am realizing that while I have good manual skills, aesthetics, and ideas, I lack “hard skills” like software proficiency and marketing experience. These are the things employers value most.

    Rethinking Fine Art

     This experience made me think about the nature of “Fine Art.” It isn’t just about technique or theory. It is an unquantifiable aesthetic, a way of seeing the world, and a personal attitude. These things aren’t really taught in school; they come from years of personal practice and exploration.

    Because of this, I am considering a different subject for my Master’s degree—either a hard technology or a new field of knowledge.

    Art is the spirit, but practical skills are the “outlet.” By learning something new, I want to find a better way for my art to exist in the world. I don’t want my work to just “float”; I want it to speak professionally and strategically in the real world. I believe this combination will create a “1+1 > 2” effect for my future.

  • Exhibition reflection Ⅱ: Thoughts on Sustainability

    Wang Yuyang: Chaosmosis

    In this exhibition, cross-disciplinary installations driven by AI and programming break the boundaries between fields. The interaction between the audience and machines vividly shows the theme: technology, life, and the environment have merged into one and cannot be separated.

    We are like fish in a tank—appearing to swim freely, but actually wrapped in an invisible shell of technology. From a sustainability perspective, when technology becomes our “second nature,” have we cut our real connection to the Earth? Is this prosperity based on algorithms a true evolution, or are we just borrowing from our original life force?

    Spurs Gallery: The Viewfinder

    These two works feature delicate embroidery and cool, subtle, yet colorful paintings. I really like this fine craftsmanship.

    However, another video piece left a very deep impression on me. It used five camera angles to record a cozy wooden house collapsing in a storm. I watched the home break apart and a fish tank shatter. The goldfish struggled on the floor and died.

    I did not like this work. Although I understand the artist might want to show “chaos” or “the cruelty of destruction,” I cannot agree with a creative method that involves intentional destruction or harming life. Sustainability in art should not just be about the materials used; it should be found in the ethics of creation. If artistic expression is built on real destruction, it goes against the core of sustainability: protecting life and respecting the environment.

    Rethinking Sustainability

    These experiences have given me a deeper understanding of “sustainability” beyond just art.

    In Earth’s vast ecosystem, everything has its own internal cycle. Sustainability should not just be about recycling materials; it should be a conscious resistance against the “entropy of life.”

    Whether in art or in life, if we overspend, hurt, or destroy irreplaceable spirits just for an image or a moment of pleasure, this “progress” will eventually lead to desolation. Sustainability is admitting our humility—admitting that we are not creators, but guardians of Earth’s complex system. We should not steal from the future or trample on small lives. Even after seeing the cruelty of the world, we should still choose a constructive and gentle way to coexist with all things.

  • Exhibition reflection: The Language of Cultural Fusion

    My internship at UCCA is located in the 798 Art District, the most influential art community in Beijing and China. The area is filled with galleries, which updating many exhibitions in high quality. I realized that the value of an internship goes far beyond daily work; the surrounding art resources are a treasure that must be actively explored.

    Therefore, since January, I have started a habit: using 30 minutes of my lunch break each day to visit one exhibition. These works have not only enriched my inspiration but also made me think about the boundaries of artistic creation.

    UCCA: Yang Fudong, Fragrant River

    Named after the artist’s hometown village, this exhibition is a reconstruction of nostalgia and collective memory. There is no set route or linear plot. Instead, the space is filled with old objects, vintage videos, and fragmented sounds.

    The “maze-like” layout is brilliant because it gives the creative power back to the audience. Every stop and every change in perspective allows the viewer to complete the “montage” for the director. I left the hall in tears. The fragments I captured took me back to my own childhood—a time of freedom and light from over ten years ago.

    Michael Cherney: Middle Distance

    American artist Michael Cherney offers a different perspective. He traveled across China’s mountains and cities, capturing them through photography but presenting them in the style of traditional Chinese ink wash painting.

    The works look different from every angle, echoing the famous Chinese poem: “Viewed from the side a peak, from the front a range.” From one side, the images flow down like a powerful waterfall. I was deeply moved by how an expat artist could understand Chinese culture so thoroughly. As an international student studying art in a Western context, I often ask myself: How do I bring my own “mother tongue” into another culture? It’s not just about translation; it is about deep cultural transposition.

    Asia Art Center: Wang Jieyin, Accretions

    In this exhibition, I saw the textures of ancient papermaking, the calmness of ink painting, and the depth of printmaking. It gave me great inspiration on how to combine the Chinese aesthetics I love with the global language of contemporary art.

    Wang’s work proves that whether it is a Chinese landscape or a Western scene, art is not just a pile of techniques—it is a reflection of the artist’s inner state.

    Summary 

    These exhibitions have deepened my understanding of cultural fusion. Culture is not a wall; it is a carrier. Fusion is not just about stacking different elements together. When an artist touches the essence of life—such as nostalgia, a respect for nature, or the perception of time—the barriers of language simply disappear.

  • Metaphysics–Do not ask Universe, Ask me. 

    This winter break, feeling anxious and lost, I started studying metaphysics.

    People always say that we only seek medicine when we are sick. When life is hard and the future is unclear, metaphysics becomes a form of comfort.

    The low pay and instability of my art internship made me doubt my choices. I turned to metaphysics for answers. It generally falls into two categories: Innate Destiny (like Chinese Bazi or Western Astrology), which reveals your natural traits and life path; and Prediction (like I Ching or Tarot), used to calculate the outcomes of specific events.

    After studying deeply, my view changed. Metaphysics is not just a relief for emotions. It is a logical system, much like math or physics—a tool to help us explore the world and ourselves.

    Prediction: Curves and Tangents

    Relying on divination and losing your free will is a mistake. If life is a mathematical function, our experiences are a rising and falling curve. Divination is like a tangent line at a single point on that curve: it predicts a trend based on your current state, but it cannot lock in a final destination.

    The future changes with your mindset. If you are anxious now, the prediction will be dark. If you are confident, the result will be bright. I realized that life is not set in stone; we always have the power to create.

    Innate Attributes: The Manual

    To me, metaphysics is not about foretelling the future. It is a user manual—a tool to understand and use myself better to reach my goals.

    Life is like a MOBA game. We all play different characters with different stats. No character is “weak”; they just require different strategies. Some are built to take damage, some to deal it. Some are strong early on, while others need time to grow. Metaphysics reveals these fixed starting attributes: your personality, your talents, and your timing. To win the game, you must understand your character’s strengths and act accordingly.

    Therefore

    Reading my own chart restored my confidence. I am now more determined to follow the path of art. My chart tells me that my deep sensitivity and desire to explore the spiritual world are my unique gifts. Fine art is not just my passion; it is a field where I can truly succeed. My current struggles and quiet accumulation are simply gathering energy for a future breakout.

    This winter, my mind and soul grew. Metaphysics didn’t give me a “result”—it gave me “instructions.”

    I no longer ask the universe”Will I get what I want” ，instead，I ask “How do I get what I want” ;

    I no longer fear uncertainty. Instead, I focus on knowing myself and pushing my potential to the fullest.

    For the final outcome, do not ask others and universe.  Only ask me.

  • exploration idea

    Part 1: The Vision (Thoughts)

    Philosophy The ancient Chinese philosopher Confucius once said, “If one hears the Way (the Truth) in the morning, one can die content in the evening.” I deeply identify with this sentiment.

    For me, exploration is divided into two parts:

    1. Outward Exploration: Understanding nature, time, the universe, and philosophical worldviews.
    2. Inward Exploration: Understanding my identity, emotions, consciousness, and the meaning of existence.

    I am forever fascinated by the colorful diversity of the vast world, and I am forever moved by the fact that we can perceive our own existence. Therefore, in my artistic creation and my life, I constantly explore, learn, and perceive. To think is my greatest goal.

    Core Goals

    • Explore the External, Perceive the Internal.
    • Reduce bias against vulnerable groups in the world.

    Part 2: Specific Themes

    Connection Between Civilizations

    • Prehistoric Civilizations: Sanxingdui, the Pyramids, and Atlantis.
    • The Collective Unconscious: DNA memories, and the serpent-bodied figures in legends (Fuxi and Nuwa).
    • Origins: Where do we come from? Exploring connections through Religion and the Tao.

    History and Reality

    • Truth vs. Fabrication: History is often a doll dressed by the victors. I seek the “Fire” (Li Trigram) to burn away the false and reveal the true.
    • Time and Perception: Dreams vs. Reality, “Dreamcore,” and the fluidity of Past, Present, and Future.
    • The Dream of Life: As the classic poem suggests, “Life is a vast dream; waking up, the smoke vanishes.”
    • Existentialism: Life is not a destination; it is a journey.
    • Spiritual Survival: Using Taoist philosophy to maintain mental freedom in a chaotic world.

    Eastern Culture: The Spirit of Resistance

    • Active Struggle: Unlike the Western myth of Noah’s Ark (escaping the disaster), Eastern mythology focuses on fighting back and fixing the world (e.g., Great Yu Controls the Waters, Nuwa Mends the Sky, The Foolish Old Man Removes the Mountains).
    • This represents a unique form of Existentialism.

    The Universe and Origins

    • Physics and the Tao: Time is an illusion; the past and present happen simultaneously.
    • The Multiverse: Dreams are merely jumps between parallel worlds.

    Mysticlsm and Mathematics

    • Self-Exploration: Comparing Eastern systems (Ba Zi, Zi Wei Dou Shu) with Western Astrology (Star Charts).
    • Life as Calculus: Life is a curve. Fortune-telling is simply calculating the derivative—finding the tangent point of the current moment. Metaphysics is essentially mathematics.

    Duality and Opposition

    • Eternity vs. Change: Perception is subjective; everyone sees a different world.
    • Macro vs. Micro: The relationship between the Universe and the Human Body (e.g., the myth of Kuafu Chasing the Sun).

    ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

    • Inner vs. Outer Worlds: Exploring the boundary between the two.
    • Breaking the Barrier: Using “Fire” to burn away hypocrisy and reveal the raw, authentic self—removing the invisible membrane that separates neurodivergent individuals from others.

    Animals and Nature

    • Mythological Creatures: Analyzing fantasy creatures from the Classic of Mountains and Seas (Shan Hai Jing) as potential memories of prehistoric civilizations.
    • Animal Protection: The SIP Project and custom dolls.
    • “It Matters to This One”: (Reference to the Starfish Story)—Focusing on saving individual lives even if you cannot save the whole world.

  • This fish cares. And this one too

    A few days ago, a major fire broke out in Hong Kong. Eight residential buildings under exterior renovation caught fire in dry, windy conditions. The flames spread uncontrollably and burned for over thirty hours, until nothing was left. 

    I had only seen scenes like this in movies. I could not believe it was real.

    That night, I barely slept. On the news, alongside cries for help, people left messages: “There’s a cat at home.” “There’s a dog.” For the first time, I fully realized that in disasters, the trapped are not only humans. I cannot imagine the fear and helplessness of pets left alone when the fire arrived.

    The next day, as the fire weakened, firefighters entered for rescue. Good news came one after another as residents were saved. What moved me most was that they also rescued many animals: a 15-year-old dog, an 18-year-old cat, a parrot, and even a snake, a turtle, and a tank of goldfish… I was deeply moved. I have pets myself, and I know they are never “just animals,” but irreplaceable family.

    Honestly, the rescue of these animals moved me even more than the rescue of people. Saving people is what we naturally expect of firefighters. But in such a disaster, they still searched carefully for a tank of goldfish—this is what I truly admire.

    To some, in the face of catastrophe, the lives of cats and dogs seem insignificant, and goldfish or hamsters even more so. Yet it is precisely these “insignificant” lives that most clearly test a society’s respect for life.

    I was suddenly reminded of a story:

    One morning, I walked along the shore and saw countless little fish trapped in shallow pools. Soon the water would evaporate, and they would die. Ahead, a little boy kept bending down, picking up fish and throwing them back into the sea.

    I asked him, “There are hundreds, even thousands. You can’t save them all.”

    “I know,” he said.

    “Then why do it? Who cares?”

    “This fish cares,” he said, tossing another fish into the sea.

    He kept repeating, “This little fish cares. And this one too.

    And this one, and this one…”

    This disaster made me realize that Hong Kong is a truly warm and civilized city. I love my country, yet I must admit with sadness that in many parts of mainland China, ideas such as “all life is equal” and “animals deserve to be seen” are still far from widely accepted. I hope to use art to make these overlooked lives truly visible.

    In a fire that burned down eight buildings, who would care about a tank of goldfish?

    owner cares. kind people cares.

    This fish cares. And this one too.

  • Rethinking Positionality Through Autism Diagnosis

    Last week, I completed a neurodiversity assessment with a doctor from Psychiatry UK and was diagnosed with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) with mild ADHD. I felt like though years of unspoken frustration were finally acknowledged. Like The Truman Show, I suddenly realized that most people experience life more easily and happily, while I have spent over twenty years imitating and learning how to fit into society.

    As a high-functioning autistic woman, I appear almost no different from others: I can live independently and communicate effectively. Yet I have always felt different and lonely. With age, the mental strain and loneliness caused by this difference have grown stronger. Many things that others grasp instinctively require me to use brain to thinking. Additionally, I am more sensitive to external stimuli such as noise or texture, which often leaves me exhausted.

    When I told my parents and a few close friends about the diagnosis, they were surprised, concerned but confused, thinking I was overanalyzing. I understand their reaction. In their minds, I am intelligent, friendly, and capable, nothing like their image of autism who struggles with speech or social behavior. One friend asked why I insisted on getting a diagnosis if it didn’t affect my “normal” life or lead to treatment, especially after waiting on the list for six months.

    For me, the diagnosis holds profound meaning. It has resolved decades of confusion and pain, explaining why I have always had to work so hard to fit in and why I experience obsessive thought patterns invisible to others. I discovered that many things I once thought “normal” were not. Most people easily notice physical or emotional discomfort, which is hard for me to recognize. For example, I might become irritated because I forgot to go to toilet all day or was extremely thirsty, yet fail to realize the physical cause behind the emotion.

    Besides, this diagnosis made me feel my real self that I had hidden behind a mask for so many years was finally seen. I remembered when I was a child, I refused to wear any tight clothes and sweaters, even those knitted by my grandmother. I always felt guilty for my picky and seeming ungrateful. But now, I understand that it was sensory sensitivity, not defiance. I felt immense relief, as if I had received an official notice declaring that I had never been guilty.

    Yet, to be honest, my family and friends’ initial reactions left me slightly disappointed. I know they love me, but they cannot truly feel my world or understand the challenges it brings. This made me realize how little awareness of neurodiversity exists, especially in China, where autism is still equated with being nonverbal or socially withdrawn. Those with milder ASD or ADHD symptoms often  recognize themselves only through personal exploration.

    For this reason, I now have a strong desire to express the autistic experience through art — to help others see, understand, and reduce bias. I want people to know that difference is not a flaw, but another way of being. Previously, my artistic research mainly focused on philosophy and physics — broad, external themes. After being diagnosed with autism, I realized the meaning of exploration life not only in observing the universe outside, but also in perceiving one’s own existence inside.

    Each person observes the world through a unique identity, experience, and sensory lens. As someone on the autism spectrum, I hope to use art to record and translate this perception. I believe art is a medium of understanding, acceptation, and embraced.

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  • Stillness That Moves

    To be honest, my first reason for applying to the DPS program was quite practical. My health condition wasn’t good, and I wanted to stay in my home country to recover. Besides, I thought some internship experience would help me apply for graduate school.

    Yet while filling the DPS application form, I realized what I truly needed this one- year time itself. I am going to enter my final undergraduate year.  Although I had done well in all my previous units that mostly earning A’s, I didn’t feel ready to graduate. I was confused about my career direction, and more importantly, I didn’t really understand myself:

    Why do I want to go to graduate school? What do I want to do in the future? Where do I want to live? Why am I even alive?

    ……

    I had no answers. 

    I feared time was running too fast, and I wasn’t ready for the future. So in a way, I used DPS as a way to delay facing it, a “gap year” to hide in, rather than a brave challenge.

    But once the year truly began, everything turned out completely different from what I had imagined — far more rewarding than I imagined. Besides the professional experience I gained, I also found the answers I’d been searching for and many new chances.

    The first project I joined in my placement was an exhibition about ancient Chinese cosmology, which is a subject I’ve long been fascinated by. It deeply inspired me and reawakened my desire for research. I realized how wondrous the universe is, and I want to continuously explore it through art — not just within Chinese philosophy, but across different civilizations in the world. This confirmed my decision to pursue graduate study, where can help me to continue this exploration on a broader platform.

    At the same time, as I met more art professionals, I started to think seriously about possible career paths after graduate school. Perhaps as an independent artist, a curator, an art  investment consultant, or even starting my own brand. I began taking small steps, like accepting online commissions for handmade crafts. It was stressful, as I always worried about clients wouldn’t be satisfied, and I was struggling to balance the time between work and creation. but I know that every career begins with uncertainty, and persistence brings growth.

    Now I feel my life became positive and energetic. During my three-hour commute, I’ve also developed a new habit that listening to audiobooks. Lately, I’ve been listening to Tao Te Ching （a foundational texts of ancient Chinese philosophy）written by Laozi as my research. Laozi teaches that everything is relative, and he named the origin and return of all things “Tao.”

    In Chapter 15, he writes:

    “混而能静，澄之徐清；安以动之，徐生。”

    “When turbid, remain still, and the water will slowly clear;

    When at peace, let movement arise, and life will slowly unfold.”

    I was deeply moved by this fantastic idea. I realized the mind must stay calm to be clear; when the heart becomes clear, action flows naturally, bringing genuine vitality. 

    Now I feel like a clear stream — peaceful, with clear goals and no longer anxious; yet driven by purpose, I keep moving, learning, and exploring, each day filled with quiet energy. Though the DPS year may seem still on the surface, it carries immense power inside, bringing vitality and possibilities.

    I’ve finally understood that major study, career, and life are not separated,  but as the “stillness and motion” mentioned by Laozi—they complete and transform each other.

    Through exploring art and the world, I’m also discovering and refining myself, which is the true purpose of living.

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